So, you’re a writer. You have written something you want other people to read. You would like it to become a book, with a cover and pages and on sale in bookshops (physical or virtual). How do you get your manuscript published in this way? You need a publisher. But, before that, you need an agent.

What is an agent? Briefly, they act as authors’ representatives to publishers. They submit manuscripts to suitable houses (they know all the editors and their interests, their publishing house’s buying policies and likelihood of taking on a project), negotiate a deal and contract and then help to manage an author’s career. If you are a writer, it makes your life much simpler, more professional and almost unfailingly more successful if you have an experienced literary agent to do this for you, rather than trying to do it yourself. Agents are absolutely worth their (roughly) 10% cut.

Now you’re convinced, how do you get taken on by an agent? Have you been working on your assignment from last time – not to be a crazy? This is a great first step along the road to getting an agent for your writing.

A few general tips:

1. Sending anything other than your covering letter, synopsis and sample chapters (precisely corresponding with the agency’s online submission guidelines) will not endear the agent to your cause. Baked goods, flowers, quirky gifts are not cute, they are creepy, like you’re a stalker.

2. Unless you are actually a former MI6 or CIA operative, you have not uncovered a huge global conspiracy. The Queen is not secretly a lizard. No one wants to see your plans for the alien spaceships you saw in a dream, or the prophecy which foretold the end of the world unless you can spread the New Word in time before the Apocalypse.

3. This is not therapy. If you have had suffered horrific childhood (or adult) abuse, please go and see a qualified professional to help you. Writing a novel or true life account of your suffering could come at the end of a successful course of counselling, but it should never form the start of your road to recovery. Yes, ‘misery memoirs’ have had a good sales record recently, but they are often made up, or commissioned from other sources. You have suffered enough, you don’t need to invite rejections from literary agents and publishers on top of all that.

4. Do not under any circumstances call to shout at a literary agent if they have not replied to your submission. After a month, it is acceptable to send a polite email or have a polite phone call to enquire about whether the agent has received your manuscript, and when it is likely to be read, with the understanding it will probably still be a long time till you hear back. If you haven’t heard, or you’ve had a standard form rejection letter, what good do you honestly think calling to yell at someone you are trying to convince to take you on as a client will do? They will think you are a horrible crazy person and be even less inclined to read your work. Obviously.
I know that sounds pretty harsh, but when you understand what happens to your manuscript when you’ve sent it in to an agent, you’ll want to present it in the best possible light.

First, find an agent to submit to. They’re all in the ‘Writers and Artists’ Yearbook’ – look it up on Amazon and get it, it’s your new Bible. There, they say what kind of genres they’re looking for and whether or not they are accepting submissions. If you have written a thriller, send it to agents looking for thrillers. If you have written a children’s book, don’t send it to agents who specifically say they’re not looking for children’s writers.

Then, carefully read their submission guidelines. Most agents have websites with these details, and will say they want, e.g. a covering letter about you, a synopsis of the whole work and one to three sample chapters. Read their guidelines (I’m repeating this, because many people don’t!), adhere to them, and submit your writing.

In your covering letter, be brief, tell them what you do, if you’ve had anything else published (journalistic experience, for example, shows you are a disciplined and competent writer) and a summary of your manuscript – genre, length, proposed audience. That’s all. Think of this as your first impression at a party. You want to be pleasant, endearing and you want them to want to know more. You don’t tell them your entire life story.

If they say ‘first three chapters’, send the first three chapters. Don’t send chapters 2, 19 and 23 because they’re the ‘best’ (in your opinion). Send the first three because this is what your ultimate reader will read, and from them decide whether or not to continue with your book. It’s always about first impressions.

Now, I say ‘first three’ chapters, because you should have written the whole book. Yes, the whole thing. Yes, a very few authors have had books signed up on the basis of a few sample chapters, but most first-time authors don’t, for the very simple reason, who knows if you’ll be able to finish writing the book, if you haven’t already?

Finally, print out your submission, leave it aside for a whole day then come back and read it again to check for spelling and grammar. No one’s expecting you to be perfect, but wouldn’t you hate to realise after you’d sent your precious manuscript that you’d used the wrong ‘they’re’ on line 1?

Gosh, I’ve written a lot more than I’d expected to on how to submit to an agent. I hope this isn’t too discouraging – I’m just trying to get across the realities of professional publishing. You need to get tough. Ok, that’s your assignment for next time – toughen up before I tell you what happens to your submission when it flies through the letterbox of an agency…