Three Eggs by Mike Snelle
June 12, 2011 – 11:00 am | No Comment

The three eggs were the palest of blues, almost white, and were freckled unevenly with tiny brown specks. They were the most beautiful things Thomas had ever held in his hands. He had seen plenty …

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Articles in Comedy

Caption Competition
November 7, 2010 – 11:18 pm | 14 Comments
Caption Competition

NFTU’s caption competition is finally here. Genius Moussa Saleh has provided this little gem to get you going. Post your submissions in the comments box below, and the winning caption will receive a bunch of …

INTERVIEW – LONDON SHITE EDITOR RUPERT ATATAT
November 4, 2009 – 4:12 pm | No Comment
INTERVIEW – LONDON SHITE EDITOR RUPERT ATATAT

As a high-profile magazine editor, many of our readers would be interested to know how you got to be where you are today?
Hard work, a nonchalance towards accepted norms of spelling and
grammar, and actimel.

Who …

The Invasion of the Pseuds by Spencer Brown
October 30, 2009 – 10:23 am | No Comment
The Invasion of the Pseuds by Spencer Brown

by Spencer Brown
They came from the skies, in a ship that was clearly expensive. It soared silently through the clouds, coming to rest above Shropley.
The villagers assembled on the green; this was the most exciting thing …

The Bones of St. Ignatius by Kitty Fitzgerald
August 4, 2009 – 9:48 am | No Comment
The Bones of St. Ignatius by Kitty Fitzgerald

by Kitty Fitzgerald
Father Kerrigan would have bet the bones of St Ignatius that he would only once in his life hear a confession like the one Alice Noonan had made to him several years before. …

A Short Story about a Trade Union Dispute by Leander Deeny
May 4, 2009 – 9:38 am | No Comment
A Short Story about a Trade Union Dispute by Leander Deeny

The National Union of English, Irish, and Guernsey Horses ( N. U. E. I. G. H.) had declared a strike. There was to be no more horseracing until their demands were met. They had issued …

Serge Bird’s Birds of Britain by Zebedee Helm
June 4, 2008 – 11:19 am | No Comment
Serge Bird’s Birds of Britain by Zebedee Helm

THE AVOCET Recurvirostra avosetta
The symbol of the RAC, which speaks volumes in itself. I, of course, am banned from the RAC for calling them out too many times in one year. I told …

The Grand Mal by Richard Milward
April 4, 2008 – 8:42 am | No Comment
The Grand Mal by Richard Milward

Richard Milward was born in Middlesborough in 1984. His acclaimed debut novel Apples was published in 2007.
He was born half human, half mimic octopus. Now, you might not think that was perfect …

The Selected Blurbs of Arthur Knibb by Jonny Sweet
March 1, 2008 – 8:14 am | No Comment
The Selected Blurbs of Arthur Knibb by Jonny Sweet

‘What a sad, sad day for the world, and a loss of one of its greatest ever blurbists.’
These were the dying words of blurbist Arthur Knibb, reflecting with dignity on the talent she was …

Meg by Daisy Walker
December 17, 2007 – 8:05 am | No Comment
Meg by Daisy Walker

“S’cuse me sir, could you spare a cheque, you haven’t got any spare cheques by any chance have you sir?’ It was simply staggering how many people with cheque books were prepared to humour this …